Genre: Fantasy, epic, Lord of the Rings-ness

Notes: Book 11/50.  I’m behind.  Stop judging me.

Review: Fuck you, sir, for only giving me half of a book

When I finishedStorm of Swordslike months ago, I was trolling Amazon on my kindle to buy the fourth book.  But all the reviews were like “This book sucks” and “Be prepared to be bored.”  One reviewer broke the book down and said Cersei had over 1/5 of the book – which was why it was so gouge your eyes out boring.  So, needless to say, I put off reading this monster book. Which was stupid, BECAUSE THIS BOOK WAS GREAT.

Is it wrong I love Jaime Lannister? Amputee, incestuous, Jaime Lannister? Good, because I love Jaime Lannister. It’s kind of sweet how devoted he is to his sister – he remains completely faithful to her while she basically whores around and is generally a terrible person.  (I’m not saying people who have a lot of sex are bad – I’m saying it’s bad when you do it manipulate people into doing things you want)  Jaime is actually a gallant knight!  I even suspect there may be some feelings brewing beneath the surface between him and Brienne, even though the book constantly harps on how ugly she is.  And, with her mishap in A Feast for Crows, she will now be completely disfigured.  Slash she might have **SPOILER ALERT** died. But then again, I thought Arya died in the last book and she clearly didn’t.  So I’m going to wait until A Dance with Dragons to be sure.

For those of you who liked the other books, George R.R. Martin does not disappoint.  He’s like the American Tolkein with a story that could possibly go on forever.  There are so many plot lines, so many stories interwoven into the fabric of this novel, that the series could theoretically never end.  Kind of like Star Wars and the immense amount of fan fiction that only an original movie trilogy has spawned.

However, as the book wound down (all 980 pages of it), I thought to myself “Where’s Jon Snow?  Where’s Tyrion?  Where’s Dany and her dragons?” And, finally, on the last page, I saw Martin’s note.  He decided to write the whole story for half of the characters rather than half of the story for all of the characters.  So Jon, Tyrion, and Dany all have their voices in A Dance with Dragons. And like, I’m fine with “To Be Continued,” I really am, but I wished I had gotten some prior warning.  Don’t let me get 900 pages in and be like, “Yeah, I know.  I had to cut the book into two.” I can’t judge the whole book because it feels like the book is coupled with A Dance with Dragons. I only have half of the pieces and pawns in this story and don’t have the whole picture.

Bottom Line: Read it!  It takes awhile, but I am beyond sucked into the world of Westeros and Braavos.  Sansa Stark is still an idiot, but she’s learning.  Even though methinks she’s going to have to hold Peter Baelish off of her or run away sometime soon.  Her pretend “father” is getting a little too close for comfort.