Genre: Fantasy, Vampires, Movie

Notes: Sorry I’m not sorry for this review

Review: Good. God.  There are not enough words in the English language to properly convey how I feel about the whole Twilight saga, but I’m going to try.  It is a complex mix of emotions.  For background, I read all of the books.  Twilight, Eclipse, New Moon, and Breaking Dawn.  I even got Breaking Dawn at midnight when it came out.  And you know what? The books are fun.  They’re a quick read, good beach books, and really just brain candy.  However, I absolutely despise Bella’s character and hate her relationship with Edward because she has no backbone and lets Edward control her.  She barely makes any decisions, she leaves her friends, leaves her family, and basically changes herself as a person (and even ceases to become human for god sakes) for Edward.  That’s not love.  That’s obsession, and it’s not healthy.  Your boyfriend should not be everything to you, he should be the cherry on top of an already awesome life you’ve built for yourself.

But enough of that rant, on to the movie.  Now,  I  had no intention of going to see this movie,  but sadly, my boyfriend wanted to see the movie and was willing to pay so, off we went.

The best part of this movie was watching the trailer for The Hunger Games.  Can’t wait until March!

First of all, for anyone not interested in Bella’s wedding or their honeymoon, or the fashion, or her twisted relationship with Edward and completely blowing off her family, don’t watch this movie.  Because there was absolutely no action in this movie.  Taylor Lautner runs around without his shirt, which is yummy, but he serves no higher purpose than eye candy.

The lines in this movie get moderately better as the movies go on.  Twilight had awful lines. Breaking Dawn isn’t terribly well written, but it’s not as bad as Twilight.  I suspect the writers of this movie have editors, something Stephenie Meyer obviously lacks.

The only real action in the movie comes in a bloody labor scene where Bella delivers Renesme (for the record, dumb name) and basically has to undergo a C-Section before the morphine kicks in.  Edward joins in and sort of chews the baby of of Bella, and when he held the baby up after finally getting her out, the theater awwww-ed.  Are you kidding me?  That was fucking disgusting.  Edward’s mouth is smeared with blood, Bella’s like dying on the table with a broken back because her super baby kicked it and snapped it in half, and Rosalie looks at the baby like it’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.  No, it was like a scene out of a Horror movie.  Not cute, not something I would ever aspire to, and not something I would ever dream about.

On the whole, if you liked the other Twilight movies, you’ll probably like Breaking Dawn.  It’s mindless entertainment that takes itself way too seriously. If you don’t like Twilight, well, get someone to pay for you.